My Blog

Paco from Bloodsport Defends Manny's Cheap Kick!

Tue, 8 Apr 2008 11:29:01 -0700

HEY, BEFORE WE START THIS JUST DO ME A FAVOR AND PUT YOUR HANDS UP - NO, LIKE THIS, IT’S LIKE TOUCHING GLOVES, BUT MUAI THAI STYLE...[WHACK OF A CHEAP NUT SHOT]... HAHA I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU FELL FOR THAT! SERIOUSLY?

LOOK, THIS ISN’T SOME CAKE WALK JOB WHERE YOU DON’T HAVE TO PAY ATTENTION LIKE THE HEAD OF FEMA OR SOMETHING! THIS IS FULL CONTACT FIGHTING - KUMITE! KUMITE! WHEN THE REF SAYS “FIGHT” THE GAMES ON. IF YOU WANT TO TAKE A CHANCE AT A HANDSHAKE, THAT’S YOUR RISK. SHIT, WE ONLY HAVE 15 MINUTES TO BEGIN WITH RIGHT? WHY AM I GOING TO WASTE 5 SECONDS SHAKING YOUR HAND? I’M HERE TO BEAT YOUR ASS SON, NOT SHAKE YOUR HAND, TOUCH YOUR GLOVE, CHANGE YOUR DIAPER OR READ YOU A BEDTIME STORY. NOT HAPPENIN’

SO A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE ANNOYED WITH MANNY SPAMBURYAN’S HANDSHAKE FAKE LAST UFC FIGHT NIGHT. I’LL TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I DIDN’T LIKE IT EITHER. I MEAN WHO THROWS A KICK, TAKES TO LONG, HE COULD HAVE PUNCHED THAT GUY IN THE FACE AND FINISHED HIM STRAIGHT OUT. THAT’S ABOUT ALL I SAW WRONG WITH IT...

WELL I GOTTA GO GUYS, I HAVE A FIGHT AGAINST SOME SNOWBALL NAMED FRANK DUX - I THINK I’LL TRY MY GLOVE TOUCH WITH THIS GUY, THINK I CAN GO 2 FOR 2?....

-PACO

Always Bet on Black!

Mon, 7 Apr 2008 18:12:46 -0700

Hello MMA World! Mr. Black checking in here with my first post. After reading the 100% pure crap Mr. White wrote I felt it was necessary to give the MMA world what it really wants…no not an undisputed champion in every weight class. That would be easy:

LW – BJ Penn (This would be Melvin Guillard if he could lay off the nose candy)

WW – Anthony Johnson (yep I am drinking the AJ Kool Aid already)

MW- Anderson Silva

LHW – Rampage

HW – Kimbo

No the MMA world wants my opinion! I am going to give it to you as time permits since Mr. White is too cheap to pay us for ramblings. Once again it is the Mr. White Man holding me down. Speaking of cheap I would like to point out that Mammary Gamburyan is a cheap shot artist. For those who do not know what I am referring to since it was not broadcast on the last UFC Fight Night, Mammary came out to touch gloves with Jeff Cox at the start of the fight like so many fighters do. However Mammary decided at the last second to drop his hand and throw a kick at Jeff. I am here to pass judgment so I will….Mammary yousa bitch! Who does that?!?! I could see Mr. Brown pulling some BS like that since he is full of BS when it comes to his commitment to writing for this blog.

I would write more but I think this is a good start. OK that was lie. This is a bad start and YOU know it and I know it, but lets pretend like this was a great first post. I look forward to writing mildly amusing rants about the greatest sport in the world in the weeks to come. OJ is innocent! PEACE!

1 is the loneliest number...

Sun, 6 Apr 2008 15:22:08 -0700

Well i sort of lied by saying that the first posting to our site was two days ago since it took until late last night to get all the server info squared away. that being said you will notice that it is again, i mr. white, picking up the slack for my fellow mma bloggers. though i will vouch that given a little direction - mr. black and mr. brown are some of the most creative mofo’s i know, and potentially worthy adversaries for my superior mma knowledge.

but in the meantime let me do them the honor of introducing and thus slowly destroying them and their mma credibility until they get 5 seconds for a retort (oooohhhh shit, we be using big words like “retort” here at knees and elbows!).

mr. brown - what can i say, he rides the line between catch-phrase genius, or slow kid in the neighborhood who keeps trying on his grandmama’s panties - figuratively speaking of course.

strengths - expect some zingers from this guy - and terrible, terrible spelling. he is famous for being able to label people with ridiculous nicknames so appropriate it hurts.

weaknesses - spelling, his severe a.d.d. and fear of the computer (with one nightly exception) may make him a big potential for absenteeism.

some favorite fighters - he loves brandon “the truth” vera and is a big believer in the diaz-bros. amongst others. love’s the “troubled youth” contingency. give him an mma fighter who was kicked in the face as a child and Mr. Brown is already filling out foster papers...

mr. black - always plotting and planning, but can he deliver? like a kid in the batting cages with a monster swing and serious potential- can he hit the fastball consistently?

strengths - if you are looking for fall-off-your-seat funny, mr. black is the man. If you are looking for sound mechanical advice for your car if it’s making that funny squeaking noise, mr. black is not your man.

weaknesses - mr. black has been known to be very back and forth, or mitt romney-sih if you will, about who he is choosing before certain high profile fights only to take a very strong stance supporting one particular fighter after the fact. why so afraid to commit mr. black?

favorite fighters - rampage, spider silva, Houston alexander. do i see a pattern here mr. black?!?!? what about you america? well to me it’s obvious that he’s partial to stand-up fighters.

now i’m a realist to anyone out there reading this which at this point includes 3 people:

*mr. white (me)
*some guy with arthritis looking for joint information
*The owner of “skis and oboe’s.com” who’s kicking himself for not registering that one more domain name.

but dammit those three people expect the best - so when this list grows to 2 more - ie. mr. black and mr. brown, i expect a sound retort soon thereafter (there i go with “retort” again...)

We’re live,Can anybody hear us?

Fri, 4 Apr 2008 00:53:41 -0700

Welcome to the first ever entry on knees and elbows.com - your official source* for news in the world of mma, especially the ufc. just like in the octagon, we aren’t pulling any punches so leave your feelings at the door of the octagon - lest you want to get a case of emotional cauliflower ear rivaling that of wanderleigh or couture. we’re talking overstuffed perogies here.
so here’s how it works - right now we have three full time writers, mr. black, mr. brown, and me, mr. white. as the many ufc and ultimate fighter episodes pass check back for more predictions, shit talking, and inside looks at your favorite stars of the ufc.
oh and one more thng, don’t take any of this too seriously...